Can’t Phone It In Anymore, Says Pope

In the Coptic Church, people started phoning in confessions about 5 years ago. Well, that practice is all done with now. The Pope (The Coptic one of course, one of the ones that doesn’t get any respect-there are currently three popes) has put the cabash on the practice. Why? Is it because it’s not very personal? It it because it ruins the humanity of the church? Nope. It’s because intelligence agents might be listening in. That’s right, the Pope thinks the man is tapping his phones. And don’t get any ideas, confessions over the internet will no longer accepted either.

With rules like this, people are going to have to start actually going to church.

Monks have also been banned from using cell phones. Seesh, what good is a life of solitude if you can’t text your buds in the middle of prayer service.

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