Layout of Noah’s Ark
I found this hilariously bad blueprint for Noah’s ark in a book called The Compact Timeline of the Bible.
See, this is why idjits believe that the biblical flood story is real. Because some people people feel perfectly fine about making shit like this up. The Noah myth in the bible is told in Genesis 6:5 to 9:29. The description of the ark (what little there is of it) is in chapter 6 verses 14 to 16.
Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
And this is how thou shalt make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
A light shalt thou make to the ark, and to a cubit shalt thou finish it upward; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
Notice, it doesn’t say shit about putting the “bald eagles and the eared owls” in one room and “eagles, various species” in another? And, what kind of an idiot puts the bedrooms across from all those fucking birds? They wouldn’t get a minute of sleep.
- Apparently, they have all kinds of extra space for 3 empty store rooms as well as rooms set aside for the mechanical and agricultural tools they’ll need when they land. It looks like the options of either pillaging tools from the piles of water logged corpses or just making new ones were off the table.
- They had a room full of “metal” and “minerals”. What the hell were these for? Did they not want to use the wet minerals once they land?
- The bedrooms are the same size as the room marked “Bears”.
- There is a gigantic room for pigeons, yet all boars and pigs are crammed together in one room.
- Indian dogs, Maltese, purebreeds (sic), Greyhounds, and Retrievers all have their own rooms but all varieties of “panthers” have one. Seem like Noah favored dogs?
- Did they really need twice as many mongooses as they did squirrels?
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