Jesus Christ, It’s a Fake Already

A Vatican “researcher” has “discovered” writing on the Shroud of Turin and believes that it proves it to be authentic … meaning that it’s the burial shroud of Jesus Christ, aka, God (yes, God’s death shroud).

Well, when I look at it, I see ovaries. But, it’s still a fake. And not even a mildly intruding fake. The craftsmanship itself is good, but why the hell would God leave magic sweat on a bed sheet to prove his existence? You would think a little something like … oh, I don’t know, declaring his existence to every person on Earth so that everyone’s fate would be on a  level playing field would be a  better idea.

Anhoo, from the article:

A Vatican researcher has rekindled the age-old debate over the Shroud of Turin, saying that faint writing on the linen proves it was the burial cloth of Jesus. Experts say the historian may be reading too much into the markings, and they stand by carbon-dating that points to the shroud being a medieval forgery.

Barbara Frale, a researcher at the Vatican archives, says in a new book that she used computer-enhanced images of the shroud to decipher faintly written words in Greek, Latin and Aramaic scattered across the cloth.

She asserts that the words include the name “(J)esu(s) Nazarene” – or Jesus of Nazareth – in Greek. That, she said, proves the text could not be of medieval origin because no Christian at the time, even a forger, would have mentioned Jesus without referring to his divinity. Failing to do so would risk being branded a heretic.

Yeah, sure. Anyone that would be ok with forging a death shroud for Jesus, would be fine not mentioning his divinity. But, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch for the faithful.

It’s not the first time the shroud has been attempted to be vindicated by someone seeing images in it.

Decades ago, entire studies were published on coins purportedly seen on Jesus’ closed eyes, but when high-definition images were taken during a 2002 restoration, the artifacts were nowhere to be seen and the theory was dropped

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19 Comments on “Jesus Christ, It’s a Fake Already”


  1. They are desperate for some kind of “hard” evidence of their Man-god’s existence. This is like the eternal Noah’s Ark discoveries that never seems to beable to be actually visitied or recovered. It never goes away.

    Yeah, I’m sure that when they wrap a body in a shroud and seal it in a tomb they take the time to jot his name down just incase someone neeeded to ID his corpse. What is that, the ancient version of a Medic Alert bracelet? Please.

    Silly damn theists. If they buy into that then I have Jesus’ diaper from the crucifixtion to sell them, complete with skid marks.


    • A holy diaper load? That could be worth some ching. How much would the Catholic Church charge the pilgrims to see that?

    • Ignite Says:

      You know its really unfortunate that there are people like you that always have something negative to say. I’m guessing you don’t believe there is actually a God or Jesus. What truly do you get from this? I find it sad that you feel the need to travel to different websites spewing all the negativity. I think it’s really amazing. However, I’m sure you are a scientist that knows everything there is. What if your wrong? What if? I hope something significant happens in your life to change your view or to at least help you learn to respect others. Really the skid mark comment was a little overboard.

    • Victor Says:

      lol! Ah, Ignite, you make me laugh. Why do I feel the need to ‘travel to different websites”?! This is my website. You’re the one posting on someone else’s site. That’s just too funny.


  2. $15.00 a peek, $25.00 a sniff seems about right.

  3. Jon Peterson Says:

    Actually, if it ever gets out that the image really is of Jesus, then the entire Christian religion would be destroyed, because what the shroud actually scientifically proves is that Jesus did not die on the cross, and if he didn’t die, he couldn’t have been resurrected; if he wasn’t resurrected, there would be no faith. So Rome is keeping it quiet. Don’t take my word for it — read The Jesus Conspiracy.

  4. Reynaldo Montemayor Jr., PhL Says:

    OK, if the shroud is a forgery just because of the 80’s carbon dating results, why hasn’t science come up with more “evidence” for its man-madeness? Could the original test have been skewed by selecting a medieval patch on the shroud? I hear scientist propose this as the graphical cause of the image. There is no pigment of any kind on it! Escept maybe for blood stains, etc. Could the shroud’s exposition to this radiation have been able to skew the carbo dating?
    I think that the shroud raises more questions because science is not giving answers.
    What about the historical paper trail the shroud has that starts way before the middle ages?! Besides, why would a medieval forger depict a cricified Jesus so off from what was popular belief? Check out the nail wounds in the wrists, not in the hands! Check out the head wounds hinting at the crown of thorns in the shape of a helmet and not as a ring, as popularly depicted!
    Even one of you recognizes that the shroud presents an upright man and not laid down, in spite of all the wounds, ect. According to another analysis on the image it protrays an upright body as if floating in mid air. But for some weird illogical reason arrives at the conclusion that it would confirm the conspiracy that Jesus never died! No, if the shroud is proven to be the authentic burial shroud of Jesus, it would not only give us evidence of how he died, but it would hint at how he was raised from the dead!

    • Victor Says:

      What evidence do you want? Evidence that is entirely conclusive isn’t going to show up because it’s needed, and quite frankly the dating is more than enough. The tempura paint doesn’t hurt, either.

      There is no paper trail that goes back before the middle ages that I’ve ever seen. In fact, there’s even a record of a bishop that declared it to be a forgery in the middle ages, not long after it would have been painted.

      Why do you believe that the image of Jesus is far off from that of popular belief of the time? Check out all the images you can find. The shroud looks like it falls within the expected variation to me.

      I think you’re wrapping yourself around in circles. If no evidence will work for you, then why bother talking about it? Do you tie the authenticity of the shroud to your religious beliefs? The shroud not being the burial cloth of Christ says nothing of his existence or nature.

  5. Reynaldo Montemayor Jr., PhL Says:

    Some editing to better my script:
    OK, if the shroud is a forgery just because of the 80′s carbon dating results, why hasn’t science come up with more “evidence” for its man-made-ness? Could the original test have been skewed by selecting a medieval patch on the shroud? Except maybe for blood stains, etc., I hear scientist propose radiation as the graphical cause of the image because there is no pigment of any kind on it, but a subtle scorching! Could the shroud’s exposition to this radiation have been able to skew the carbon dating?
    I think that the shroud raises more questions because science is not giving enough answers. Besides the more answers it gives raises more questions!
    What about the historical paper trail the shroud has that starts way before the middle ages?! Besides, why would a medieval forger depict a crucified Jesus so off or “unpopular” from what was the popular image of the crucified Jesus, etc.? Check out the nail wounds in the wrists, not in the hands! Check out the head wounds hinting at the crown of thorns more in the shape of a helmet and not as a ring around the head, as was and is still popularly depicted!
    Even one of you recognizes that the shroud presents a man in upright position, in spite of all the wounds, ect., and not laid down. This comes from another analysis on the shroud’s image that actually protrays an upright body as if floating in mid air! But for some weird illogical reason this person arrives at the conclusion that, if proven to be authentic, the shroud would confirm the conspiracy that Jesus never died! No! If the shroud is proven to be the authentic burial shroud of Jesus, it would not only give us evidence of how he died, but it would hint at how and that he was raised from the dead!

  6. walls2005 Says:

    I have to say guys, some of you naysayers spout stuff that has been debunked a long time. People that are EXPERTS in their fields have been studying this for decades and have trouble telling if it’s real or not, but one Bishop from hundreds of years ago saying that it might be fake makes it automatically true? Come on…

    Also, it was popular belief that the crucifixion happened through the hands as shown in all church images back then when it was supposedly painted. Why then on the shroud does it show it through the wrists, which is where it would have really happened since those bones could support the weight and the hands couldn’t.

    Oh… no pigments found in the shroud, so it can’t be paint.

    And the image on the shroud is a negative image, which is almost impossible to do and if some guy would try to fake it, why would he do it as a negative image?

    A new way to carbon date was just done on it not long ago, but it takes months to process the results. The original carbon dating results have already been proven to be most likely incorrect results.

    I’m all for people not believing in God if you feel like you should. But, to denounce it and not give any good reasons as to why just dumbfounds me.

    • Victor Says:

      Wrists vs hands: Well, some people were just tied up there (no piercing). But the crucifixion imagery is taken from Psalm 22 “A company of evil-doers have inclosed me; They pierced my hands and my feet.” During the middle ages, artists got more knowledgeable about anatomy, which is pretty obvious from the realism in art at the time. Nothing even remotely surprising to me.

      no pigments: last I read it was tempera paint.

      a negative image is almost impossible: you should hang around with some art students some time. Hell, even I’ve drawn a negative image.

      A new way to carbon date was just done : where did you hear this from? I’m kind of curious to know who started this meme. There is actually a “new” method of carbon dating, but it would be more precise to say it’s a a more precise algorithm that narrows the margins of error, giving a more accurate estimation of the date. It most definitely does not take months, tat is absolutely ridiculous. Plus, I don’t know how old you are, but when they originally released a sample for for carbon dating it made international news. It was big news. Now, there’s a secret sample that you know about but I haven’t? Why? I track religious news routers, too.

      to denounce it and not give any good reasons just dumbfounds me: How about promoting it and not giving any good reasons? I haven’t seen one in your post. The dates measured in Arizona, Oxford and Zurich in 1989 showed the shroud to be medieval. The results were published in Nature, Volume 337, Issue 6208, pp. 611-615 (1989). If you have knowledge of another scientific, double blind test that was performed on the shroud please post the link. I will be thrilled to see it. No atheist on the planet gives a shit if there’s a god or not. Life goes on. But, when people are willing to lie to themselves and others to promote what amounts to nothing more than superstition, that concerns us. It should concern everyone. It should concern you. Believers should be the ones that are more concerned about his type of stuff, but we just see loads and loads of people saying the most silly stuff, whatever it takes to make some little miracle real. The creator of the universe materializes on earth and the only physical evidence he leaves is a stain on a sheet! Really? You believe that? THAT, is why I’m concerned.

  7. Lovvy Says:

    jesus christ was not ressurected,they are all mythologies,they created a God in a prophet. if he was the son of God why God let him die so merciless.

    Jesus was a normal man. What’s the origin of the bible? Today we have many big bibles, even relating newsletters… that’s all fake. God is there but he was never Jesus. God omnipresent.

    • Ignite Says:

      Read the bible. It really might help you understand. In fact you may then have answers to the comments you made. Its information that is great to know. If you believe or not. : )

    • Lovvy Says:

      the bible is written by man. there is no evidence of all that.


  8. bed sheets that are made of flannel fabric are the best type of bed sheets .:.

  9. fuck u Says:

    bible and jessus christ is fake there is no proof of jesus.jesus love loosers fuck u dammn sit theere is no jesus and god .there is only science so if want to pray for science and scientist fuck u dammn jesus christ suck and suck aassss

  10. Ignite Says:

    Wow so many intelligent people on here specially the last post. I think Victor…. you sound very intelligent. Why are you so caught up in religion and the readings if you don’t believe? My apologize if I got the wrong info from your writing. I have read all of the comments. I think its interesting how much everyone seems to know. Yet really so little.

    I know only what I read. My suggestion is that with several comments including one of yours and I quote, ” The creator of the universe materializes on earth and the only physical evidence he leaves is a stain on a sheet! Really? You believe that? THAT, is why I’m concerned.” makes me ask if you have ever read the bible?

    There is significant amounts of evidence that says different. Jesus Christ is real. If you have read the bible than that is great. Actually you probably have. Most people that are trying to prove he does not exist are usually very educated on religion. Excluding the last guy from Oct. 16.

    If you could careless about Jesus Christ and God well then disappear …. right? I mean if this doesn’t matter than who cares if its real or not. You don’t have anything to worry about or argue about. Live life and be happy. Why waste any of your days on this earth trying to change others to believe there is no God, Heaven or Jesus Christ. Get to livin cause time is not guaranteed to anyone. I pray however that something helps you rethink your path. If I am wrong then I just become one with dirt. Nothing to be afraid of right? Then there would be no hell.

    But what if Im right? I am so glad I have the joy in my heart and Jesus in my soul. You’ve tried everything else. Why don’t you give God a chance. What do you have to lose? Otherwise stop wasting your time on believers like me. Enjoy your life you don’t know how much you have left.

    • Victor Says:

      If you did pray for me to change my path, and I didn’t, would it give you pause? Would you actually expect a result from the prayer, or is it just something you say?


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