Posted tagged ‘sexy jesus’

The Great Sex (and no common sense) Church

April 28, 2009

“A church giving sermons about sex may have to find a new home. Brevard Public School District’s risk-management department has threatened to boot New Hope Church out of Sherwood Elementary because of a worship series titled “Great Sex for You.”

And rightfully so! Having a pastor tell you the proper way of stimulating your lover is not the most appealing thought in the world. I don’t really care if Jesus was a gentle lover or slapped Mary Magdalen’s ass when they did it. It’s not my cup of tea.

The pastor of this church complained that Christianity is too mum on the subject of sex, but I don’t really see any reason it needs to meantion it. Christianity is NOT a sex class. It also is silent on truck driving skills and hints on winning karaoke contests.

He also, inappropiratley enought, advertised his sex talk at an elementary school. The guy sounds like a bit of an ass, too me.


75 Year Old Virgin Upset about Sex Show

February 5, 2009

sexy-jesusDaniel Pilarczyk, Archbishop of the Cininatti area, is upset at the “Sexploration” symposium being held at the University of Cincinatti campus. Perhaps it’s because he wasn’t invited. I can’t think of any other reason why someone that chooses to be celebate himself would be upset at those that do not. I suppose it might have something to do with the Christian idea that people should be ingnorant of all things sexual and afraid to touch their dicks. As far as I can tell, only priests can touch you there.