Posted tagged ‘Swine Flu’

Rabbis in Airplanes “Fight” the Swine Flu

August 12, 2009

Well, when swine flu magically disappears later today, you’ll know who to thank. Rabbis in airplanes.

“A group of rabbis and Jewish mystics have taken to the skies over Israel, praying and blowing ceremonial horns in a plane to ward off swine flu.”

Yep, you read that right. A group of rabbis, like holy super heroes, have taken it upon themselves to pray the friendly skies, blowing horns and bobbing all the way. Hopefully it’s a private flight, since I don’t think the grandmother in seat 12-B will appreciate having a sheep’s horn blown in her ear.

“The shofar is the horn of a deer or sheep, and is used to mark major religious occasions in Judaism. “

But seriously folks, there are some who think the H1N1 will soon be a thing of the past, thanks to our black hatted friends.

“We are certain that, thanks to the prayer, the danger is already behind us,” added Mr Batzri was quoted as saying.

For you skeptics out there, there is some real science in the article. Well, not IN the article, but off to the side:

  • Swine flu is a respiratory disease thought to spread through coughing and sneezing
  • Symptoms mimic those of normal flu
  • Good hygiene like using a tissue and washing hands thoroughly can help reduce transmission.

Really, I don’t know why we didn’t think of it before. All these “scientists” in their fancy laboratories have been wasting all their time testing and creating vaccines when the answer was right in front of them all the time: magic!


Michelle Bachmann: Village Idiot

April 28, 2009

According to this Star Trib story, Michelle Bachmann thinks the swine flu outbreak is “interesting“.

Rep. Michele Bachmann says she finds it an “interesting coincidence” that the last swine flu outbreak in the U.S. occurred under a Democratic president — though her claim is historically inaccurate.

Yep, Republican Gerald Ford was in office at the time of the outbreak.

I swear, this woman is so dumb I’m surprised she remembers to take a breath every few seconds. I understand she’s from the opposing party, but if the best criticism she has for President Obama is trying to link him to the swine flu, she needs to take a break. Does she think she sounds smart when she says these things? Does she think that a huge rally protesting Obama’s secret biological weapons lab will form? I mean, who the hell voted for this idiot? She’s great fodder for comedians. They don’t even need to change anything, it writes itself. Stephen Colbert can’t keep up, she’s sending up the Republicans for him.

But I shouldn’t be too hard on her. She does provide some good to society I suppose: Village Idiot